Blessed with the sensitive soul of a poet, the strong hands of a sculptor, and the rugged good looks usually found on a roll of paper towels, James' storied achievements are many.
Written when he was only eight years old, his existential invective of suburban values I Am My Own Remote became a Gen X classic. At the age of eleven his tragic opera The Clown Who Made Me Cry debuted at the Met. At fourteen, his dystopian ballet Clean Up on Isle Five was awarded a Cable Ace award even though it never appeared on TV.
After college, Mr. Utt took time off to work with orphaned tree sloths. This was captured in the award-winning documentary Moss Heart and inspired his off-Broadway musical Clingin' in the Rain.
A successful entrepreneur as well, James developed the bodybuilding program Resistance is Utile; created the line of military cosmetics About Face!; and designed the Alaskan-themed discotheque Club Baby Seals.
When Mr. Utt isn't biking around Central Africa or using the word "heiligenschein" in conversation, he dreams up fake biographical tidbits for his sure-to-be popular funeral.